As they say, Rome wasn't built overnight.

I was reading some online articles a moment ago, just marvelling at how brilliantly some people can write, and I was in awe; in awe how some writers have the ability to literally make words come alive and it always blows me away (a trip to France I hope haha ok lame). As a writer myself, it is always jarring to see another person's work getting published instead of my own. You start to wonder if you are not funny enough, or your content is not good enough, or perhaps, you're just not good enough in this entire entity.

It's really such times that I shudder to think about what would happen after I complete this two-year  National Service stint in 120+ days. Don't get me wrong, of course I have a grand plan of going to university (I have already applied for school and will most probably get the placing I want) and then working in a renowned advertising/marketing firm and live the life I have always dreamed of. Well the questions are as follow: Who would hire a fresh grad like me?? What makes me x67899367092 better than the others?

I am a control freak and I know it. Every time I think about the uncertainties that my future brings; all the worries about my future surfacing like tiny air bubbles rising to the top of a carbonated drink with a soft fizzle, a tremendous part inside of me dies. I start to doubt myself and my capabilities; the fizzing in the Coke bottle never never ends.

Until perhaps, the drink turns stale.

I mean, yeah, it's great that I (try to) read and write a lot, I have a diploma to give me an edge over other people in the industry and for further study, plus I was brought up in this, as Singaporeans would call it, Jiak Kantung (which is "eat potatoes in dialect" and means English-speaking / can't speak Mandarin), environment and the friends I hang out with do have a good command of English AND Mandarin, I should have no qualms in saying that I am well-versed in the English Language.

So I guess I just have to constantly remind myself that I am stuck in this rat race and I would not quit because quitting is for losers and nothing worthwhile is easy. Perhaps I will always be the little boy outside peering into the shop's glass window, perhaps someday I will be a famous poet like C.S. Lewis or Sylvia Plath. I'll never know where the future goes and where my life will eventually takes me, but I know that it comes back to the theory of practicing for 1000 hours. The future is mine to craft for I am the master of my own destiny, and I have to make the best out of the present (CHEEEEEEEEEEEESY but it's true).